12.22.2008

Marie Osmond Doll Guy



Marie Osmond doll guy thinks the big doll in the middle is six shades of scarlet away from looking real.

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Celebrity Plush Doll Guy



Celebrity plush doll guy would so wrap himself six times over in that trendy 12-foot scarf, find a quiet corner of this celeb-studded pub event, and just BE.

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12.21.2008

Celebrity Game Guy


Celebrity Game guy thinks you should see the other guy. The other guy is neither Jay-Z nor Beyonce.

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10.21.2008

McCain Greeting Party Guy



McCain greeting party guy is not as excited as he looks.

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Perhaps he's had a look at the polls.

10.20.2008

Victorious Rays Dogpile Guy


Victorious Rays dogpile guy would prefer that the celebration did not include the disintegration of his femur.

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9.25.2008

McCain Debate Stand-in Guy



McCain debate stand-in guy sure hopes that The Maverick will show up, 'cause he hasn't even debated anyone seriously since the divorce. He doesn't even own anything that's not a cargo short.

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9.22.2008

Emmy Red Carpet Triptych Guy

Jeremy Piven at the Emmy Awards on That Guy, the humor blog
Emmy Red Carpet Triptych Guy can't figure out why his pics of Ari's duck tail keep coming out so damned amber.

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9.21.2008

Pam Anderson Mannequin Guy

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The left one is his cousin.

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9.16.2008

Star Wars: The Force Unleashed Launch Party Guy

star wars the force unleashed launch party guy

You don't want to know where Star Wars: The Force Unleashed launch party guy just got nicked by the mesmerizing plastic hand blades of Jango Bobo Fett-or-whoever-he-thinks-he-is.

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9.11.2008

Tom Brady Teammate Guy

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Tom Brady teammate guy needs to get back to the homestead pronto, so he can drop himself from his fantasy football team.

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Steve Jobs Conference Guy



When he returned to his one-bedroom apartment that night, after the press event, Steve Jobs conference guy said to his girlfriend, who is thinking about dumping him, "Sheez! If that thing gets any thinner, it'll disappear!"

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Palin Rally Guy

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Palin rally guy holds the other three-quarters of his standard-issue McCain-Palin sign in his left hand. When Karl Rove says don't block the Hawaii star, you don't block the Hawaii star.

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9.09.2008

Jonas Brothers Band Member Guy



Jonas Brothers band member guy has spent exactly 8000% more time working on his dreads than he has practicing any single Jonas Brothers song.

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9.07.2008

Football Tech Guy



Football tech guy is staying calm. Just staying calm. Just...stayin...I love you, Brett!

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9.06.2008

Large Hadron Collider Guy

large hadron collider guy science that guy

Large Hadron Collider guy is more concerned about the black hole/end of the solar system issue than the jaunty angle of his hardhat would suggest.

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9.05.2008

McCain Supporter Guy

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McCain supporter guy isn't sure what's all the muckety-muck, but he wants it done-for and he wants it done-for now.

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9.03.2008

Caribou Guy

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Caribou Guy doesn't have the guts for national politics.

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9.01.2008

Colorado State Football Fan Guy

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Colorado State football fan guy heard "green" and immediately thought "neon."

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NASCAR Backstage Guy

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NASCAR backstage guy is pretty famous for no reason in his own right.

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8.31.2008

McCain Guy

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McCain guy feels like he's always in the way.

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8.30.2008

Convention Guy




Convention guy is totally into Obama and everything, but he'd still be psyched if that short chick would drop the sign an inch or twenty. Convention guy is thankful, however, that he's not standing behind Tex McGraw over there.

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8.28.2008

Soccer Guy



Soccer guy can feel the party coming. And he'll be there. Whenever, wherever.

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8.27.2008

Baton Guy

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Baton Guy knows what it's like to really want something.

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8.25.2008

Leisurely Guy

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Leisurely guy is picking up what they're putting down.

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Lawn Chair Guy

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Lawn chair guy watches lawnmower racing on his own terms.

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Base Camp Guy

Base camp guy smells like hot cocoa.

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