Marie Osmond Doll Guy

Marie Osmond doll guy thinks the big doll in the middle is six shades of scarlet away from looking real.

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Celebrity Plush Doll Guy

Celebrity plush doll guy would so wrap himself six times over in that trendy 12-foot scarf, find a quiet corner of this celeb-studded pub event, and just BE.

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Celebrity Game Guy

Celebrity Game guy thinks you should see the other guy. The other guy is neither Jay-Z nor Beyonce.

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McCain Greeting Party Guy

McCain greeting party guy is not as excited as he looks.

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Perhaps he's had a look at the polls.

Victorious Rays Dogpile Guy

Victorious Rays dogpile guy would prefer that the celebration did not include the disintegration of his femur.

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McCain Debate Stand-in Guy

McCain debate stand-in guy sure hopes that The Maverick will show up, 'cause he hasn't even debated anyone seriously since the divorce. He doesn't even own anything that's not a cargo short.

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Emmy Red Carpet Triptych Guy

Emmy Red Carpet Triptych Guy can't figure out why his pics of Ari's duck tail keep coming out so damned amber.

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Pam Anderson Mannequin Guy

The left one is his cousin.

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Star Wars: The Force Unleashed Launch Party Guy

You don't want to know where Star Wars: The Force Unleashed launch party guy just got nicked by the mesmerizing plastic hand blades of Jango Bobo Fett-or-whoever-he-thinks-he-is.

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Tom Brady Teammate Guy

Tom Brady teammate guy needs to get back to the homestead pronto, so he can drop himself from his fantasy football team.

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